More shit about ME!

1. What color are your kitchen plates? White on top, black underneath; squares 2. What book(s) are you reading now? "I Hate You, Don't Leave Me" by Jerold Kreisman, MD 3. What or who is on your mouse pad? plain blue4. What's your favorite board game? monopoly? 5. Favorite magazine? Psychology Today 6. Baked Goods? Dutch Apple Pie 7. Least favorite smell? Cat urine 8. What's the first thing you think of in the morning? FUCK! I don't wanna get up! 9. Favorite color?(s) Burnt amber, pumpkin, brick red 10. Least favorite color? mauve, fushia 11. How many rings before you answer the phone? my phone plays songs, so I don't know 12. Future children's names? No future kids...already got three...that's enough! 14. What is your sign and birthday? Gemini, May 27th 15. Do you eat the stems of broccoli? YUP...yummy 16. If you could have any job what would it be? Psychiatry secondary education/ research 17. If you could have any color hair what would it be? Shit, I think I've done everything I've wanted to... Hubby is curious about me as a blonde though... 18. Is the glass half full or half empty? C'mon, you know me people.... empty. 19. Favorite movie? Ah, shit. I love so many, I always have a hard time with this question. Adam Sandler movies, Labyrinth, Neverending Story, The Mexican, psychological thrillers, romantic comedies 20. Do you type with the right fingers on the keys? yes 21. What's under your bed? Hooked on Phonics (I'm not even joking!) 22. What is your favorite number? 5 23. What is your single biggest fear? Losing a kid 24. Person(s) most likely to respond? Probably no one. 25. Who is least likely to respond? Probably everyone. 26. Favorite CD? All of Jack Johnson's CD's... I refuse to be bullied into picking just one! 27. Favorite TV shows? CSI: Las Vegas, Oprah, Live with Regis and Kelly, That's Clever, American Idol (Shut UP!) 28. Ketchup or mustard? yuk...if I have to choose... ketchup 29. Hamburgers or Hot dogs? never hot dogs... hamburgers only if my daddy made them 30. Favorite soft drink? diet cherry vanilla dr. pepper 31. The best place you have ever been? shit, I haven't been anywhere.... Memphis, TN was pretty fucking cool... probably only because it was the furthest from home I had ever been and I didn't know ANYONE there! 32. The most amazing sight? The first time I saw my children's faces.... Looking at my husband waiting for me at the alter with tears 33. What wall paper is on your computer right now? Carmen Electra 34. FAVORITE BURGER: Like I said, homemade by my daddy 35. Favorite pet? Aw, I love all my pets... ok, well, usually I want to ring my pomeranian, Heaven's, throat so we won't put her... and Lhami, the Himalayian, keeps pissing everywhere... so, I will put Miss Divine, the Boxer pup

This is so NOT me!

Your Personality Profile You are pure, moral, and adaptable.You tend to blend into your surroundings.Shy on the outside, you're outspoken to your friends. You believe that you live a virtuous life...And you tend to judge others with a harsh eye.As a result, people tend to crave your approval. The World's Shortest Personality Test

Mentally Ill MeMe

What is your diagnosis? Bipolar, ultra-rapid cycles; Borderline Personality Disorder When were you diagnosed? Formally diagnosed Bipolar at age 14; the Borderline was mentioned at this time, but I think I ignored it. Formally diagnosed Borderline at age 25. How long do you believe you have suffered from mental illness? My entire life. I can distinctly remember the ups and downs, the suicidal thoughts and rage throughout my life.(my sister can attest to this!) What medications are you taking for your disorder? At this moment, none. Unless I decide to take Ativan or Klonopin from old prescriptions I have left over. In the past, I have taken: Zoloft, Depakote, Lithium, Lamictal, Zonegran, Risperdal, Prozac, Haldol, and a few others I can’t remember the names of right now. Tell us about an episode. Ah, shit. Pick a day, any day. Read any post listed. I cycle so fast, I have “episodes” daily. An example of a depressed state episode: Locked myself in my closet with all my pills (hundreds), a knife and a beer. My daughter found me, but the door was locked. She cried and begged me to come out. I did. But, I had already taken a few pills, so I went to sleep. My husband was there. He let me sleep, but was pissed off at me. An example of a manic episode: I went to work and didn’t come home for two days. I went to my old favorite bar and stayed until sunlight, found somewhere to crash…but never slept….did it all again when everyone else was done sleeping. When I am manic, I do shit like that a lot. Do you feel ashamed about suffering from a brain disorder? Not so much ashamed as pissed off. I mean, it isn’t like I did it on purpose. Shit! I didn’t even do it on accident! I tell my husband to tell his employers I am ill so that when he doesn’t show up on time and tells them it is because he couldn’t find his wife, they know he isn’t making shit up. I hate my illnesses. I hate what they do to me, I hate what I do to people because of them. But, I am not ashamed of having them…..I am ashamed of a lot of my actions, though. What advice do you have for other sufferers? Hold the fuck on! This ride sucks ass and you are gonna want to get the fuck off….many, many times. For some reason, you have to stay on it, though. One thing I can say, if I wasn’t ill I wouldn’t have sought out the blogs I have and I wouldn’t have some of the very important people in my life that I have now. There is a very real community of us. Sometimes, I love to be part of that “us.” Remember this: “To the world you might be just one person; But to one person, you just might be the world.” (author unknown) EVERYONE has that one person that thinks you are the world, even if you don’t know it. What advice do you have for those who don’t suffer from your condition? If you are married (or in a real relationship) with someone who suffers….Hold the fuck on! Try not to give up on them. There are going to be things that they do that piss you off, hurt you, and confuse you. If you aren’t willing to truly forgive and forget, you should just go. Hanging on to the grudges formed over actions due to this illness won’t help anything. You have to let go. Be there for them….Really BE there. Is there anything you want to say to Tom Cruise? Tom Cruise is an ass. I don’t know what else to say. The meds we take (or should take, at least) save lives. No fucking “God” has ever done that for me or anyone else I know that has tried or succeeded in their suicide attempts. So, Tom, go have your bastard baby (apparently “God” thinks it is ok to have babies out of wedlock, but not to take medication to treat diseases) while your poor fiance pleases you by not taking pain medication or making noise. Idiot.